GoT Rape?

[In order to put this out into the world, I have to write a sort of prelude: I haven't read the books, and I haven't seen enough of the show to have an assured, totally informed opinion about it. What I know is that being a woman is really freaking hard sometimes, and that there are triggers which suddenly overwhelm me with all that difficulty. This show is one. It makes me reel at all the sexist bullshit that is embedded in my life--in friendships, relationships, interactions and non-interactions with strangers and coworkers--and it begins to feel insurmountable. It's people I love, it's me, perpetuating this stuff. To be fair, when I first saw GoT, I was in the pits--self-esteem was crashing and burning; I'd recently been shown a diagram by a nurse which depicted (no lie) cookie-cutter cutouts of a woman with her "heart" in her chest and a man with his "heart" in his dick; and while working in a bar, I was experiencing way more ogling and harassment than I was used to. My reaction to GoT was akin to PTSD. With that in mind, a rant:]


I hate Game of Thrones.

There, I said it. And it's such a lonely hatred, which is why I have to say it. I can hardly find any real, thoughtful, disciplined criticism of the show--help, no comforting internet validation!--especially because my dislike doesn't stem directly from the gratuitous violence and sex, which is occasionally the target of scolding. I'm no puritan. I'm not above pornography and I like sex and I know violence is a part of the world. But I have no patience for art that drops a shitty thing in front of me without saying or meaning anything by it, other than "this is how it is." Some of my favorite TV shows make me vastly uncomfortable, and that is in large part why I love them. These shows display nudity and gore...with a point. Girls, for example, and The Wire, both harshly criticize and warmly sympathize with the communities they portray. They are layered and nuanced and their self-awareness is palpable. But Game of Thrones' clumsy swagger makes me sick to my stomach in a way I do not appreciate. I've tried to sit stoically through episodes and found myself holding back tears because the show drains me of hope, as a woman living in this society that enjoys watching the blatant objectification, subjugation, and rape of women, if it's packaged in a pretty enough box. And no, putting a sword in a woman's hands or giving her dragons or chopping off her hair doesn't mean you're home free. There is nothing inherently revolutionary about a woman on a horse, particularly if she's wearing a medieval bikini. There is nothing redeeming about a queen who became queen via rape, who was coached to become powerful by pleasing her husband sexually. Power is not the endgame in gender relations: it's respect. Which is why GoT is doomed to be terrible in this regard. A woman with power in a world that hates women cannot get very far without undergoing serious compromise or harm. HBO has done television right before. I'm disheartened and confused by this show's success. (I know it's 90% because boobs. But I can't accept that.)

Like I said, I haven't watched (read: been able to watch) all of GoT. I also haven't read the books. Heard they're pretty effing bad, though. Anyway, here's a list of the most commonly encountered, shrugging arguments--often by lovely intelligent feminists, no less--in favor of the show's flippant transgressions:

1) That's the way the book is.
Um, ok?  I really don't care. A shitty book does not a good show make. Being faithful to a book or author makes you faithful, not skillful or worthy or creative. Although I've heard that it's not actually so faithful (that latest rape scene, anyone?), so you really can't use this as an excuse when it's convenient.

2) That's "how it was" "back then."  It's just realistic.
Mmhmm. Rape is and always has been a thing. That's not a good enough reason for me to watch it happen on my TV screen, especially when it's clearly meant at times to arouse and titillate. Let's be real: any time there's a naked female on the screen, that's why she's there--regardless of whether the woman is consenting, in pain, happy, dead, tortured. It's all sexualized. The creators know that people will pay attention if they bring out the tits and ass. (Would like to give a shout-out here to Girls, a show that fights such sexualization by presenting average bodies in casual, or "unsexy," situations. Imagine it: women who aren't there primarily to look good for men.) So, the GoT creators have our attention. What are they trying to tell us? And what about when the victim is a generally disliked woman whose rape might provide an unsuspecting viewer with a small amount of satisfaction? Revenge does feel great, doesn't it. And I'm not sure what time period you're referencing exactly with the "back then" stuff--this is fantasy we're talking about--but if you mean some sort of vague medieval Europe-y kind of time, then yeah, sexism was worse then. So we're good, I guess. It's better now. We can laugh about old timez! Also dragons!

TLDR: We know rape used to be even more institutionalized than it is now.  Also, WE KNOW BETTER NOW. At this point, if we are watching rape scenes on a regular basis, and they are not being used to carefully construct round characters or critique contemporary life, it is not for historical accuracy. It is for pure entertainment. 

3) The bad guys eventually get murdered.  S'all good.
Sure, the rapists and child murderers will do their bloody thing again and again and again, but we know that they'll die in a particularly gruesome way at some point, and we will be encouraged to feel good about it, and that's all we get until it happens again, in like 5 minutes probably. I've never been much of a sucker for plot. I'm pretty sure my emotions and intelligence are reasonably intact, and I get no pleasure or comfort or feeling that "justice" has been served when I watch a pervy murderer's throat get pierced by a blade. This good-and-evil, revenge-as-justice dichotomy is too simple for me, for you, for all of us. Come on. This show is not questioning itself, at all. If this were the next summer blockbuster, fine, I've given up on that scene--but GoT is being sold as smart television for smart people. "It's not TV."

No show is perfect, by any means. I've enjoyed or lazily tolerated my fair share of questionable viewing material. But this one bothers me so much. I feel really offended and lonely within that offense. I say these things to friend-fans and they grimace, agreeing at least in part. But I doubt they're going to stop watching. The guilty pleasure lives on.