The Insufficiency of 'No'
Feelin' pretty good about all the recent national discussion about sexual assault on college campuses. Good because it's happening. As ever, some of the things said will be constructive. Some won't. I want to take issue with a common sentiment: that boys and young men should be operating on a "no means no" policy, should be taught that this is the appropriate method of determining whether consent is present. I say nope. Nope to "no means no." It's not enough--it's a starting point. A mind-numbingly obvious starting point which, even if one obeys, does not bring our culture out of its predatory funk. When a person says no, whatever activity he or she is declining should stop immediately. That's a given. How long will it take for everyone to understand that? Dear jeebus, I hope not much longer. But there's more to it. Women should not have to be gatekeepers. The absence of no is not an invitation. On the street, at a bar, in the bed